I want to start this blog by saying that I don’t buy into the idea of “not enough time.” There is simply just Time. Whether or not we have enough of it is completely up to us.
Now, as much as I wholeheartedly believe everything I just wrote, I too still get sucked into the scarcity mindset of not having enough time. Just because you don’t believe in or buy into a way of thinking doesn’t mean that you won’t slip from time to time and find yourself down the self pity rabbit hole of doom and despair. I mean, c’mon, we’re all human right? If we could all be 100% evolved, enlightened, and living perfectly perfect lives at all times, well, there wouldn’t be much need for me to write this blog would there? We could also probably get rid of the self help section at Barnes and Noble and go ahead and tell Tony Robbins to cancel his tour dates.
Obviously there’s a huge amount of people out there who struggle in this area. And guess what girl… I’m one of them! I don’t pretend to have it all together and don’t think you should either. Even if you feel like you’re supposed to… and I know you feel like you’re supposed to. You’re a mom, you have dreams and goals, you want to live your best life, and look good doing it. So much pressure!
Look, I get it. I totally get it, because I am all those things too. My priority list is huge and ever growing and sometimes it can feel like if I were to add just one more thing that the camel’s back might actually break.
For instance, I’m in the middle of an incredibly busy time in my business. We just launched this blog, we are working on expanding my brand in a ton of fun new directions, and with that comes a ton of work. Lots of writing, lots of networking, lots of time nurturing what we’ve built. I absolutely love what I do and 100% enjoy this work. But, there’s a always a but… with the increased workload as of late, I can tell that my kiddos are getting less of me. In fact, my youngest daughter told me the other night while I was tucking her in, “Mom, can we please play together tomorrow, I miss playing with you!”
Talk about the ultimate #momguilt. Now, if you’re like me, then you know that something like this can send you down the whirling, twirling, and never ending tunnel of shame and self doubt. All the feelings of…
Am I enough?
Am I giving enough to what matters?
Am I doing it wrong?
Am I working too hard?
Am I messing it up?
Am I missing out on something?
And on and on and on until you’ve convinced yourself that it’s just too hard, there’s not enough time, and you should probably just focus on what matters… not your silly dreams.
Yeah, I could have gone that route, and I’m not saying that those feelings didn’t come up for me because of course they did, I’m a mom and I 100% want to get this right for my babies. But, I chose to go another route. I chose to pull from my bank of knowledge of self help and time management strategies… (Thanks Barnes and Noble & Tony Robbins!) I chose to look at ways that I could improve upon the ways in which I was managing my time in order to give more in the areas that were lacking.
You see, It’s not a time issue. It’s an issue of how we are choosing to spend those precious minutes and hours. If we ask ourselves and take note of what exactly we are doing with our time then we will see the gaps. If we’re willing to examine our day to day and be honest about how we are using our time we will see what’s being wasted on meaningless tasks and to do’s.
So I did. And let me tell you it wasn’t pretty. I realized pretty quickly that I’m a procrastinator. Which I’ve known my whole life but until now I’ve liked to mask that personality trait as “She works well under pressure.”…. Yeah, keep tellin yourself that boo, you just have trouble with time management. 🙂
As long as I’m throwing myself under the bus here… I also found, during my self examination….(that sounds like I’m checking for lumps or bumps) Um… during my look at how I was approaching life and business… that on top of procrastination I also have a tendency to not write important stuff down, to continually not wake up early enough, and to rely way too much on the notion that everything will just work out… it always does.
Now I like to live my life as a perfect balance of Hustle Hard Sweetheat and Just Give It To God, so I’m ok with a few of my tendencies because it makes me who I am. But, I definitely saw room for improvement. Some of the things that seemed innocent enough, like hitting that snooze button for the 4th time, became not so innocent when I weighed them against what it was costing me on the back end.
Things like waiting until the absolute last minute to write a blog post that is scheduled to publish tomorrow morning, taking random calls when I’m in the middle of another task, scrolling social media and falling into comparison traps, all of these things were literally stealing time away from me and in turn my quality time with my kids.
UGH. It is and was a hard pill to swallow. It’s hard to turn the lens on yourself and look for ways to improve. But, it’s so necessary. Now, I’m going to tell you something that I don’t think a lot of people will tell you. Self improvement is not a one time thing. You don’t get the knowledge of how to improve yourself in certain areas, check off the little box next to that area, and go “Cool. That’s done. What’s next?” It’s an ongoing thing, you will slip, you will fall back into old habits. (They say they die hard… I wouldn’t know though.. LOL). You will revisit old patterns again and again and it will take time. Lots of it.
But it’s worth it. You will eventually have more time in the new way than you do in the old and just like that you’ll make the switch. The old way will be the old way and the new way will be the only way.
I’ve been at this self improvement thing for years and I have some wins. I’ve made the switch in a lot of areas and am extremely proud of the progress. My work on me isn’t done though. Far from it. I’m on a mission to live my best life. For me, for my family, and for others too.
My hope is that if you are on a similar mission that we can do it together. Let’s celebrate our wins together, help each other when we stumble, and remind each other to give ourselves and others grace in the process.
Remember that there is absolutely enough time in the day to be a good mom, an amazing wife, a boss babe, and the healthiest version of YOU. You just have to make time for what matters and kick the rest to curb girl!
XX
Tara
